March 13, 2016 at 1:09 pm #1104
A couple of years ago i started liking Korean pop music , and it really changed me as a person i now became more open minded and now i like to try new thing and even talk to new people but my family seems to see my interest in k-pop and Korean culture and language as a bad thing. my older sister keeps on saying that i became more distant from people around me and i need to learn some social skills , they also made me feel bad about my body even though i was totally fine with it . i hate the fact that i always feel like there’s something wrong with me but who wouldn’t, all i want is to do what makes me happy i don’t think i have to like everyone or have long conversations with people 20 years older than me to be a normal person right?March 17, 2016 at 1:54 pm #1118
First of all sorry for the delay in responding, this website was going through some upgrades.
Being open minded is usually considered to be a good quality. People have individual taste in music, and again, having varied interests is usually a good thing. But some cultures are quite specific in how they view other people’s language, dress, food, music etc. And many families base their ideas of what’s acceptable or not, within the framework of their own culture. Is it possible your family is worried that you are not embracing your own culture, and they fear the consequences this may have on you? It’s possible that they are making faulty assumptions; for example they are linking your interest in Korean music with you being more distant, and they may be carrying this further so they are focusing on small flaws and attributing everything to your “different interests”.
If your sister is saying that you seem distant and need some social skills, take a step back, and ask yourself why is she saying this? If you are avoiding family social interactions, then maybe her comments are valid. Is it possible that you are coming across as detached? Can you make an effort to be more sociable, even if you don’t feel like it? A change like that may help your sister (and family) be less critical of you. Also, take a step back and do a self-assessment. Is it possible that your interest in Korean music and language is out of balance, with other things in your life? Have you neglected things in your life, that are expected of you from your family? Are there small changes you can make, that will preserve your personal interests but also help you fulfill your role as a family member?
If they are making you feel bad about your body, have a frank talk and tell them that pointing out flaws is not psychologically healthy for you. If you have a normal BMI (body – mass index) then there is nothing to worry about. It’s important to develop personal boundaries where you don’t let other people’s negative opinions bother you. So if you are at a healthy weight, and someone is still being negative about it, then tell them that their comments are not valid, and for your own sake, don’t “let it in”. Consciously practice healthy habits which include sleep, nutrition, exercise, adequate time on studies, positive social interactions, and nurturing your spiritual self. This will help you identify as psychologically normal. If all these are in balance, then there’s “nothing wrong with you”. Tell yourself that. You need to identify as normal, and that will help you FEEL normal as well.
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