I don't know why people don't like me

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    I moved to a new country and new school 6 months ago. At my old school I was  popular and never had a shortage of friends. Teachers, kids, their parents, everyone seemed to like me. But at my new school I just don’t fit in and I don’t know why. I’m pretty smart in my classes (well most of them), and I’m not nerdy looking or anything like that. I try talking to others and try to join in convos, but I feel like an idiot cause nobody pays much attention to me, or gives me any importance.  I feel like a pathetic loser. I’m in 11th grade now, and I don’t know how I’ll survive another year like this.

    SS Moderator
    SS Moderator

    Dear Silver Change,

    Adjusting to a new country and school is hard. Try to get involved in activities that you enjoy. Being with like-minded people will give you some common ground with them. Sometimes it’s easier to make friends during extra-curricular activities, when there’s more chance of one-on one interaction.  Have you tried initiating social plans with just a couple of people who seem open and friendly? Take a risk by asking them, even if the answer may be no.

    You say you’re doing well in most classes. Have you tried offering to help students who may be struggling in a particular class? Invite them to study together?

    Pay attention to your body language. Are you slouching around, looking glum? Is there something about your attitude that may be affecting how people perceive you? If so, force yourself to be pleasant, smile more and act confident. Are you perhaps trying to be a certain way, to get people to like you? Just be yourself – you were well-liked at your old school, so that  means you have proven social skills. It can take time to make new friends – remember that if you love and respect yourself, chances are others will too.



    Hey Silver Change,


    My advice would be not to try to hard. I feel like the more you try to fit in, the more everyone will push you away! Just be yourself, but don’t but into anything you’re not invited in – like conversations – I think people in high school get really sensitive about their cliques and groups of friends, and are much more likely to welcome you in if you don’t go out of your way to “intrude” (as that’s how they might see it) I know this sounds tough and lonely, but just give it a few weeks!



    Hello Silver Change,

    I agree with everyone above. I know this reply is pretty late but heres some of my advice for you. Try participating in more team activities because this way you can get to know your peers better and vise versa. Be yourself. This is such a cliche thing to say however you know you’ve made good friends when you don’t have to “try” for them to like you, considering you’re in a new school this might take a while but once it happens the wait will be worth it!



    <span style=”line-height: 1.5;”>Hi Silver Change, </span>

    I’m sorry to hear that (and I’m sorry this is so late). I have a lot of experience with moving schools and I can tell you that it’s always hard in the beginning. However, it does get easier and soon enough you’ll find yourself surrounded by friends. Just keep smiling and keep thinking positively because a happy mindset helps lead to a happy life.

    In the meantime, try joining clubs and/or sports, ask someone to go to lunch or get ice cream with you, opening yourself up helps others open up to you. Additionally, don’t feel bad when you join in conversations, everyone’s been new at one point so they’ll understand. 11th Grade is a tough time to make friends because everyone seems to have a set of friends already but it’ll get better and easier. Just stay positive and keep smiling.



    Thanks everyone for your advice. It’s been almost a year since I’ve joined this school. Though I feel more at home, I still haven’t made close friends. I really don’t think people like me very much. To be honest I don’t like anyone much either. People are not really interested in me. Most of them are shallow and I just feel annoyed and angry most of the time. I don’t understand what happened to me, I used to have loads of friends, and was happy at my old school.

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