May 31, 2016 at 7:04 pm #1217
I think I’m depressed, but I can’t afford to go to therapy (and my country doesn’t have free councling). I know this probably isn’t the most accurate way, but I’ve taken many tests at different times in the last 2 years and they always say I have depression. I would like to know an actual psychiatrist’s (?) thoughts. Anyway, here are the symptoms I have.
- loss of interest in activities I used to enjoy: I love editing pictures, reading psych articles and editing articles for the school magazine. I haven’t done the 1st two in over 6 months and I only did the magazine thing because I had to (and it felt like torture).
- sleep changes: I sleep around 12 hours a day and I have a very hard time getting out of bed(I stay for an extra hour) because I’d rather sleep than face the day.
- Irritability: I lash out at my siblings for no reason. My friends always say I’m easily angered.
- Fatigue: I often feel tired all day even after sleeping well.
- self-loathing: I often feel like everything is my fault or refer to myself as the only dark spot in my life. I used to really hate myself when i was 12/13 (i’m 16 now). I still generally have a negative internal dialogue. (tho i’ve learned that the negative image isn’t my own but that of depression/illness)
- suicidal thoughts: On good days, I only have 1 clear image of exactly how I should kill myself. On bad days, 2 or 3 times. My default thought is “I need to die”, regardless of what i’m feeling or if it’s a good day. (I will not actually kill myself because of Religion and I won’t do that to my family. I don’t do self harm for the same reasons)
- feeling numb/heavy: I often feel nothing at all when I’m supposed to be excited/sad, and I have to fake emotions. I also feel really ‘heavy’ most of the time; like I need to lie down and never get up.
- change in appetite: I don’t eat like I used to and I find myself turning down food I love and not having certain types of food unless sme else is making them (this could just be my normal laziness)
I’m sorry if this is too long, but I reaaly need help…June 1, 2016 at 8:58 am #1218
Hello, thank you for sharing this deeply personal problem. All the symptoms you’ve described are symptoms of depression. Depression can be treated, but you really need to reach out for face-to -face help. Starting with cognitive behavior talk therapy would be a good idea. Does your school have a school counselor you can talk to? Or is there a teacher that you trust, who you could ask for help? If there really is no free counseling available, then a second option would be to go to your physician and tell him what you have described here. He might prescribe an antidepressant, which can help you. You don’t have to feel this way.
There are some other simple things you can do to help. Exercise helps the body release endorphins which are hormones that elevate mood. Please do 30 minutes of aerobic exercise at least 4 times a week. I know you feel like you have no energy, but force yourself. And force yourself to engage in positive social activities, with family or friends.If you are staying isolated in your room, force yourself to sit with the family. If you’re on the internet a lot, force yourself to talk to a friend, go for a walk, or work on something you used to enjoy. The key word is “force” yourself. The voice of depression persuades you to detach from people and life, and that will only make things worse.
You mention that you have suicidal ideation, but you would not actually do it due to religion. If you believe in God, then pray and ask for His help. Have faith that whatever you are going through, it can pass, things can get better. But you need to seek treatment. Please have a look at the below video on depression: http://www.upworthy.com/what-is-depression-let-this-animation-with-a-dog-shed-light-on-it
Online counseling is not enough for you, please reach out to a trusted adult and ask for help.
June 1, 2016 at 1:10 pm #1220
- This reply was modified 1 year, 6 months ago by SS Moderator.
Thank you so much for the quick reply. I canlt tell you how much I appreciate it. I know therapy would do me good, but our school doesn’t have a counseler and I’m not close to any of my teachers (especially since starting high school because classes are taken differently now). I honestly dkn’t trust doctors here to meddle with my brain like that because they aren’t known for their brilliance (egyptian doctors are known for being careless). The only person I want to talk to about this is my mum, but mental illness awareness is not a thing in Egypt so she doesn’t know much about it other than t.v. stereotypes of bad parents and teenagers on drugs.
I might be able to save up a little to get therapy, but it will take a while. It will also mean convincing my mum that I’m depressed, which she doesn’t really believe(or at least she doesn’t believe it can come from nothing and that it’s no one’s fault). I don’t know if I can convince her and I really canlt do this without her.
Can’t I fix this on my own? I mean, I’ve learned to tell the difference between what I think and what depression thinks. I’ve learned to calm myself down when I feel like crying or dying. I know how to take things one step at a time and not expect sudden results. I just need to know how to make these negative feelings and thoughts go away. Could you tell me how?
Again, thank you so much for the advice and the insightful video. I actually just finished excercising and I’m going to try to keep it up. We’re near a very spiritual time and I think this will give me the boost I need to do that. (I’ll also try keeping a journal to keep track of how excersing is helping so I don’t lose motivation)
(I write so much, sorry )June 1, 2016 at 4:54 pm #1221
Hello, it’s great that you are close to your mum. Maybe watch the depression video with her? It’s made by the World Health Organization, so she may believe in it’s credibility. Sometimes depression has a genetic component, so your mum may be able to identify other family members who had similar thoughts and feelings – these discussions may open her mind to accepting the reality of depression as a common mental health problem.
Since you like to write you can start journaling: each night write down 3 things you are grateful for, or 3 small things that made you even slightly happy or content during the day. It can be as simple as a cup of tea. Each day when you experience something even slightly pleasurable, slow down and savor it: notice it in detail, what did it taste like, feel like, sound like – use all your senses to cherish small good experiences. You can slowly re-wire your brain so that you focus more on positive things, less on negative.
When your thoughts are negative, ask yourself “how bad is this really?” Whatever it is, put it on a scale of 10 in terms of how bad it is. An earthquake would be a 10/10. A flat tire would be a 1/10 in terms of bad life experiences. So whatever is making you feel bad, use your rational brain to put it into perspective by using a scale to measure how bad it really is. You may find yourself re-interpreting many things so they don’t seem as bad any more.
Use the upcoming spiritual time to keep your thoughts as balanced as you can. God doesn’t want you to be sad. Take time to meditate: do slow deep breathing and clear your head of negative thoughts by focusing on just your breathing, notice how each breath in can purify, cleanse and energize you, and each breath out can release negative thoughts and energy from your body.June 1, 2016 at 6:06 pm #1222
Thank you for the advice. May God guide and help you like you have helped me.
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