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    I am engaged to a Canadian man which is here in the US on a work visa (which is how we met). We met 1 year and 5 months ago and got engaged December of 2017. He was with a woman for about 12 but never married or had children. They bought a house together. He came to the US for work 4 years ago and he told me they broke up when he left. Which I believe because she sends very nasty degrading emails and texts to him. Some about me and others about how she feels what I piece of crap she thinks he is. He assumed me that there is no way in hell he would get back with her because he said he dispised her very much. We broke up for about 4 weeks. During that four weeks he contacted her and wanted to work things out and said he would fly her to where he was and make things work again. Yes, she contacted me to tell me this after we got back together. I confronted him on this and he did not deny it. My problem is this….they still have this house together. He sends her $2000 a month for the morgage payment. Has been every since they broke up four years ago. He promised me before I accepted his hand in marriage that he would get out from under this house so we can start a future together. He did promise me he would. Now…he is telling he that he wants to sign the morgage agreement for one more year with her so one, she has time to find another place to live and two so he can get more money when the house sells. That is “if” it sells. He gets very very angry with me when I express that I am not ok with that. I told him if he signs it that I will walk away from our relationship altogether. I am very confused on what to think and do. Begging for some advice, support and perhaps guidance.

    Thank you

    SS Moderator
    SS Moderator


    A good marital relationship needs to be based on trust. In order to trust your partner, he must be trustworthy. Ask yourself if he is trustworthy?

    It seems that he has not been upfront with you. You say that when you broke up over a 4 week period, he tried to get back together with the ex-girlfriend. And he said he would get out from the house deal, but he hasn’t. You also say that “he gets very, very angry with you”. Do you believe that this person is committed to you, and again, can you trust him? If your best friend was in exactly this situation, what would you advise her?

    If this relationship lacks trust and respect, then this is a red flag.


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