Body image issues

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    I’m really chubby and I hate my body. I like to think I’m relatively good at hiding my insecurity but I know that is not always the case. I like my face and my face is the only thing about my physical appearance that I feel confident with but I hate how fat I am and how everytime I sit down I have to unfold my shirt to hide the fatness, how I always have to reconsider an outfit because I’m scared I look even fatter in it, rarely ever taking full photos and sticking to selfies because I hate my body so much. I feel like every guy I come across at my age struggle to find me attractive because my weight ruins everything. It is such a struggle and I feel so disgusting, my friends are so healthy and fit and I feel like crap when I look at myself and then look at them, I try not to compare myself but its hard because I see them all the time. I’ve tried eating healthy and exercising but I always fall off track and go back to my bad eating habits. I just don’t know what to do anymore. I know if I stick to it and lose enough weight that will make me super confident but I just lack the will power to do so.

    SS Moderator
    SS Moderator

    Hi Libra09,

    Negative thoughts can consume us and make us feel helpless. Negative thoughts are usually ‘catastrophic’, which means they are exaggerated and extreme. Negative thoughts immediately lead to negative feelings. When you say “I hate my body”, are you overly reacting to a few extra kg’s? Try to balance out your thinking. Are you selectively focusing on certain parts of your body, and ignoring the good parts? This is called ‘mental filtering’, and is an unhealthy, unfair way to judge yourself. The thought “my weight ruins everything, I hate my body” will result in frustration. If you balance out your thought with “I have a beautiful face and that’s what most people see first, but I’d like to lose some weight and I’m working on it”, will result in better feelings and motivation. Remember not to judge yourself according one criteria only – there’s a lot more to your worth than body weight.

    Try to replace catastrophic, mental filtering with healthy thinking. That’s the first step to feeling better about yourself. Next, come up with a practical weight loss plan. Realistically, how much weight do you need to lose in order to have a healthy BMI? First off, decide what your goal is. Losing 2 kg’s a month is usually doable if you exercise 30 minutes a day 3 or 4 times a week, and reduce calories in a balanced way. Only weigh yourself once a week, but track your commitment daily by writing in a journal: “what did I do to reach my goal today?”. On days when you were fully on track, give yourself a smiley face in your journal. On days when you slipped up, just tell yourself you can get back on track tomorrow – don’t give catastrophic thinking a  chance to sabotage you.

    Self-criticism is like living with an internal bully – it’s emotionally exhausting and painful. So silence that inner bully and support yourself with balanced thinking and a practical weight loss plan.


    • This reply was modified 6 years, 6 months ago by SS ModeratorSS Moderator.
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