Am I depressed or just stagnating!

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This topic contains 4 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by SS Moderator SS Moderator 3 years, 10 months ago.

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    hello everyone! so I m a 32 year old flight attendant living in dubai. I do travel all over the world and that basically has been part of my routine for almost 8 years now (I started at 23). Lately I have been feeling lonely ,lazy and bored. When I go to work I usually go out with my colleagues to explore the city we re at or to enjoy a glass of wine and a nice meal at a restaurant. Sometimes, I prefer to go shopping alone or just go for a walk in town. I dont want to sound shallow but I must say that I kind of lost the excitement of travelling because I ve been doing it for so long. right now I m on leave for a week and all I ve been doing is sitting on the couch, watching TV or movies on my laptop, eating and sleeping. I have been out of the apartement and I am on day 3 of my holiday. I m an expat in the UAE but I dont feel like going to my home country either. Maybe because things are not great there (politically and socially) or maybe just because I feel that I will most probably get more bored and depressed if i go back home. My mother tends to criticize me alot (the way I dress or how style my hair..) and thinks that I should have been married at this age. I do have a boyfriend for almost 3 years now and we live together (I already introduced him to my family about a year ago). My boyfriend started recently mentioning to me that I m getting lazy and that my body changed alot (which is true as soon as I hit 30 ). I m not fat (175cm /59kg) but I can see a bit of cellulite on my thighs and also my belly and my butt. I tried to work out and follow a routine at my building’s gym but I could not keep up with my busy flying schedule. I also get bored of working out alone. I used to be a very sociable outgoing person but now I dont feel like going out nor seeing my friends anymore. Nothing seems to motivate me and I feel like I have no goal in life. I keep cancelling plans and all do is sit home check instagram , facebook and youtube. People think I have this amazing life on social network because of my travel pictures and my few modelling photoshoots. I sometimes receive messages from young girls and guys who tell me they would like to be like me one day. It makes me feel better but I go back to my struggle the next day. If only they knew how bored and desperate I have been feeling about my life. My boyfriend suggested I go to his gym to start thai boxing or any activity that I liked but I keep cancelling on him because I m really demotivated and lazy. Maybe because I m also feeling weak and dont want to be rediculed because I am not in shape and get easily tired. I started eating healthy a few weaks ago and bought alot of healthy organic food and supplement to change my diet and focus on my nutrition. It was exciting at first but I ve quickly given up and went back to my old habits. Pizza, bread, fries and coke! The worst enemy for a healthy body yet my favourite in every meal. I dont know why I give up so easily. My sister and boyfriend are the only ones aware of my boredom and depressive behaviour and they gave me alot of support but I feel like it s not enough. I need to feel something within me pushing me forward. I feel like I m stuck in this routine. My days off are basically days of boredom and stagnation. My boyfriend works at home (home office since february) and can see how I spend my days. He gets concerned with my behaviour and thinks it s pretty alarming. I do think that it could even affect our relationship cause I start to come across as a useless slob good at nothing. He advised me to go see a therapist and to stop complaining about my situation and do something useful like see my friends, find activities to do or create a blog.. I know there are plenty of interesting things to do but my problem is nothing motivates me. nothing at all. I m stuck. Is it my job that I need to change (eventhough it s a dream job with good money free air tickets and stress free) ? Do i have to get an apartement alone and move out? Is it me or is it my entourage? I have no idea what to do or how to get out of this!! I m lost. Oh I also recently had a series of unfortunate events : my wallet got stolen on my first day vacay in mykonos, my hair got badly bleach burnt by the hairdresser, my iphone got stolen on the plane while I was working!!!

    Am I talking like a spoiled brat and come across as shallow to you? I really need help and feel like I m losing my mind!




    Hello! It sounds like you are in a rut! Maybe you can try volunteering? Sometimes giving our time and effort to those less fortunate than ourselves helps us see the world and ourselves differently. If you have depression then you won’t feel like volunteering, and you may not even be able to connect with a cause you are interested in. But force yourself, and just go for it. You might feel a sense of purpose and fulfillment, and it sounds like that is what’s lacking in your life right now.



    Make a list of all the activities that you used to enjoy before. Also make a list of the friends who give you positive energy. Then ask a friend to join you in a different activity every few days. You will probably enjoy it once you are actually out of the house and doing something fun. Ggal is right, you have to push yourself even if you don’t feel like it at first. If you’re stuck at home checking social media, try rationing yourself so you only do this 2 or 3 times a day. Internet addiction can make us even more lazy and lethargic. Be disciplined with yourself. Good luck!



    @ggal and @emgirl thank you so much for the reply :).. unfortunately my depressive mood and laziness affected my love life and relationship.. And my boyfriend started losing interest in me. My friends seem to give up on me because I cancel on them almost every time. It’s really awkward and rude from my side to think of them as not interesting and boring. I’ m trying to get out of this situation on my own but I m also going to use the advices you girls gave me. I renewed my subscription on the volunteering website and will definitely give my self a break from social media and everything that would distract me from real life.

    thank you


    much love

    SS Moderator
    SS Moderator

    Hello Houda,

    First of all please forgive the delay in responding to you. This is a brand new website that has been under development, and it is now fully operational. Thanks for sharing your problem. Clinical depression is characterized by low energy and loss of interest in activities. Causes for depression can be biological and/ or environmental. The first line of treatment is regular exercise which will boost your serotonin levels. This is the hormone that helps you feel happier. You also need to make a daily schedule for yourself, where you set goals and then actively take steps to support those goals. This means  engaging in everyday activities, even when you don’t feel like it at all. Each night write down a plan for the next day which includes exercise, eating balanced meals on time, outside activities and social interaction. Don’t allow yourself to cancel on friends. Tell yourself that depression is a downward pull, and you need to forcefully pull yourself up.  At the end of the day write down how you felt when you were engaged in these activities – chances are you will feel good. Journaling helps build self-awareness.  If you can acknowledge that staying active actually makes you feel better, then you will be motivated to keep trying.  When your self-talk (or thoughts) are draining and negative,  counter them by telling yourself balanced, positive statements that emphasize gratitude.  Stay focused and committed.

    • This reply was modified 3 years, 10 months ago by SS Moderator SS Moderator.
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