It’s important to be open and genuine with your wife. Most people nowadays are aware of the damaging effects stress and fatigue can have, so chances are your wife will be empathic, once she knows how you feel. You can suggest to her that the “to do list” can be kept for weekends. It’s important to clearly state how you feel, and describe the problem in terms of the consequences for you:
“I’m really tired and I need some peace and quiet after work, so please don’t ask me to do things as soon as I come home, because it makes me even more stressed. Some down time will help me relax and unwind. I’m fine with doing those things for you on the weekend. ” Healthy communication involves appealing to your partner in a genuine and honest way, but making room for her needs too by giving alternative options. If she still reacts by getting hurt or angry, maybe there are some deeper issues of unmet needs on her part, that need to be resolved.