Reply To: dealing with anxiety

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Anxiety is when you over-estimate a problem, and under-estimate your own capability. So anxiety is an over-reaction, or mis-interpretation, and  can arise from literally any situation. It’s a pattern of  exaggerated response.  So something simple like being late for an appointment can result in the following train of thoughts: “Oh no, I’m late! What will they think of me! This looks so bad! They will have a poor impression of me! The consequences will be dire……” This line of thinking leads to anxiety, and in your case anger. In this situation a more balanced way of thinking may be: “I’m late this time, I’ll try to be on time next time, I can apologize, everyone is late sometimes”. This second pattern of thinking leads to calmer emotions.

Try to analyse your thinking and keep it balanced and realistic. You say that you are watching inappropriate videos. It’s possible that you have traits of OCD – Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. The “obsession” can be repetitive negative thoughts that fuel your anxiety. The “compulsion” may be watching these videos, which may change your mood, giving you relief for a short time, but then the anxiety wells up again, so you engage in the videos again. This can be an addictive and self-sabotaging cycle.

Try to develop more adaptive thoughts, where you perceive situations in a calm and realistic way, and at the same time elevate your self-confidence. Rather than turning to the You Tube videos, find an alternative way to cope with anxiety such as exercise, journaling or talking to a friend for a few minutes. A good self-help manual you can use is “The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook” by Bourne; it has lots of practical tools that can help you.